Did you know that miscommunication occurs in almost 75% of everyday interactions? Seventy-five percent! Add in the possible component of cross-cultural differences, and you are bound to experience some form of miscommunication and misunderstanding during your au pair program year. The best way to manage these potential cultural mishaps is to preempt them before they occur and address them with empathy and understanding when they do.
Understanding High-Context vs. Low-Context Communication
High-context communication emphasizes implied messages and nonverbal cues, while low-context communication relies on more direct verbal communication. Certain cultures, like many in Asia and Africa, focus on building relationships and understanding unspoken meanings. Speaking more directly in these cultures can often be considered rude. Low-context cultures, such as those in the U.S. and Canada, lean more into clear and straightforward language. Consequently, North Americans may not even pick up on a high-context conversation request without direct feedback. For example, your au pair may nod and smile, even though she isn’t totally on board with your invitation to go running at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Time Management and Punctuality
Time management styles vary globally, often depending upon what is considered socially acceptable. For example, in many Latin American cultures, a start time is interpreted as more suggestive and not enforced strictly. Especially in more informal situations, it’s often considered perfectly fine to show up an hour past the start time and not be considered late. Some cultures from the Mediterranean region, South America, and parts of Asia are often categorized as polychronic, viewing time as fluid and flexible. They emphasize building and maintaining relationships over following a strict schedule. While in countries like the U.S. and in many parts of Western Europe, punctuality is more prominent and schedules are adhered to more diligently. These monochronic cultures tend to view time as more linear and structured.
Food and Mealtime Expectations
Even if you haven’t traveled outside of the United States, you know that different cultures have different cuisines. But, have you considered other cultural factors that affect food and mealtime? For example, in many other countries like Italy and Brazil, lunch is the largest meal of the day, not dinner. Many times, schools end earlier and adults return home for their lunch break to accommodate sharing this meal together as a family. And don’t be surprised if your Spanish au pair is accustomed to starting dinner at 9:30 p.m.!
Hosting a meal in your home is often considered very typical for many cultures and refusing food, even politely, can be considered rude. While in other cultures, refusing on the first ask is typical, and the host will often ask numerous times until the guest has accepted. In some countries, it is expected to leave a small amount of food on your plate as a sign of satisfaction, while in others, cleaning your plate is customary. Learning about your au pair’s dining etiquette before they arrive can help them feel more at home and help you not accidentally interpret their cultural norms as rude or offensive.
Problem Solving Approaches
As you can imagine, caring for children, living in a new country and with a new family, and being surrounded by a new culture can present its challenges. Problems will arise, so being mindful of different approaches can only help resolve them more effectively. Perhaps you are used to addressing issues in the moment, but your au pair prefers to digest the information and prepare for the conversation in advance. The important piece is that you communicate! Asking your Local Coordinator for support is also a helpful way to go about solving problems within the home as they have a plethora of experience managing cross-cultural situations. Keep in mind, your au pair is from a different country, different family, and most likely is communicating in a language that is not their mother tongue. Be patient and understanding of their unique perspective and also keep in mind generational differences that may exist in addition to cultural ones.
Language Barriers
If English is not your au pair’s first language, expect a learning curve in their ability to comprehend all aspects of your communication. Even if you pride yourself on being an excellent verbal communicator, there are nuances to consider when hosting an international au pair. Take inventory of how many idioms you are using when communicating with your au pair. These can be quite confusing to an ESL learner. Additionally, does your body language match your verbal language? Ninety-three percent of how our communication is interpreted is through non-verbal communication. Therefore, be sure you are being thoughtful about making eye contact, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere, especially when having important conversations, and ensuring your tone of voice is creating an approachable and safe space for your au pair to speak up if they’re not understanding something.
Comprehension Checks
Whether you’re communicating with your au pair or anyone for that matter, including comprehension checks into your conversations are critical ways to lower the odds of miscommunication and misunderstandings from occurring. A simple way to do so is through active listening. Listen intently, then repeat back what you heard the other person say in your own words to ensure you understood their message clearly. Asking lots of questions and being curious about your au pair’s culture will show interest and enthusiasm toward making an effort to communicate most effectively.
Misunderstandings will occur no matter what in your lifetime. Minimizing these instances is preferred, but using them as learning opportunities is also a way to grow in your experience as a host parent. Through your experience hosting an au pair, even the cultural miscommunications, you and your family are developing cultural intelligence, the ability to effectively function and interact in diverse cultural settings. Your increased cultural sensitivity and awareness can support your ability to thrive outside the home for years to come.
If you’re ready to start your hosting journey, apply today for free! Hundreds of au pairs are eager to get to know your family. Your cultural exchange experience awaits!
