This post was originally published in February 2019 and revised in July 2024 by other contributors.
Image courtesy of The Stewart Family
As a parent, you know that at times caring for kids can feel like a thankless job. Sometimes, your au pair may feel the same way. As your year with your au pair goes by, be sure to recognize the special contributions they add to your family. This will let your au pair know that you’re paying attention to all of their hard work, as well as motivate them to keep doing a great job.
Here are a few suggestions for showing gratitude towards your au pair to reward a job well done.
If you see something, say something.
When you see your au pair doing something really great, you might think to yourself, “She’s a lifesaver!” But don’t assume that your au pair realizes that you’ve noticed.
Be intentional with your language. Telling your au pair, “I noticed that you cut the kids’ sandwiches into cute shapes. That was really awesome!” or “Thanks so much for offering to drive Emma to her party. You didn’t have to do that, but we’re glad you did,” can mean a lot. It shows that you are seeing and appreciating the little things.
Remember to keep your praise genuine and specific. When you point out exactly what you’re thanking your au pair for, it’s more effective and makes a greater impression than simply saying, “Nice work.”
Praise in public.
Don’t just tell your au pair directly how much you appreciate them—tell others too! It feels good to be recognized publicly in social settings instead of just privately inside the home. For example, if you’re at a holiday dinner with family and friends, you can compliment how helpful your au pair was in helping get everyone out of the house on time or in preparing the special dessert your family made.
Give the gift of experiences.
Studies show that experiences are more meaningful and create more happiness than things. It’s highly likely that your au pair values unforgettable experiences; after all, they’ve come to a new country to experience a new way of life! A gift card to a great restaurant, an ice skating rink, or another activity that your au pair might enjoy with friends is a great way to say thank you. It can also help your au pair get involved in the community and experience cultural exchange hands on, making it a win-win.
Personalize your appreciation.
Would your au pair rather receive a framed picture of her family, a gift card to Starbucks, or an invitation to go to the movies with you? You’ll know the answer to this as you get to know them better. A thank you gift that shows that you understand your au pair’s personality and preferences will be very meaningful and will help make them feel like a part of the family. If you’re unsure what your au pair would appreciate most, observe how they show appreciation themselves. Do they often buy presents for your family, go the extra mile being helpful, or offer to join you at your kid’s soccer game? Most people show appreciation in ways they also value receiving it.
If you’re giving a gift at the end of your au pair’s time in the USA, think of what can fit in a suitcase and be transported easily. Bonus points for coming up with something unique to the United States or to your area. While a glass figurine or large stuffed animal might not fit the bill, the jersey of your local sports team definitely would!
Host a meal that your au pair loves.
A great way to thank your au pair is to have one of their favorite meals for dinner. Whether you make it, order it, or take your au pair out to eat, let them know in advance that you’re doing this to thank them for their great work. It might be a dish from your au pair’s home country or maybe something local that they’ve learned to love!
If you can’t think of any unique thank you ideas that your au pair would appreciate, just ask them! Your au pair will have thoughts on what they’d like to learn, foods they’d like to eat, and experiences they’d enjoy. We hope you’ll add your own creativity to these tips to help reward your au pair for a job well done.