Vacationing With or Without Your Au Pair

This post was originally published in May 2018 and revised in December 2023 by other contributors.

Families who are new to the au pair program often want to know, “Does our au pair go on vacation with us?” This is a great question, and has more than one right answer.

As a family looking to take a vacation, you have three main options.

• Take your au pair with you, and they can help you watch the kids.
• Take your au pair with you, and it can be their vacation too.
• Travel without your au pair. They can stay at home and relax, or travel elsewhere!

Vacationing With Your On-Duty Au Pair

The majority of our families choose option one – traveling with their au pair. Taking your au pair on vacation can be a great experience for the au pair, the kids, and you. Your au pair is an extra set of eyes when kids are running wild at a theme park, and can even build forts with the kids in the hotel while you enjoy a well-deserved, kid-free date night.

Here are some tips to help to make this experience the best it can be.

• Be sure to communicate! If your au pair is very excited about the vacation, they might not be prepared for the exhausting task of traveling with kids. You will probably have a blast, but it will be a lot of hard work, so discussing challenges ahead of time will help to align expectations.
• This is not your au pair’s vacation time! It’s great that they are traveling, but if your au pair is providing child care, then they are working. Be sure to discuss future vacation scheduling so that you and your au pair are on the same page. Remember to follow the U.S. Department of State regulations when it comes to maximum number of hours your au pair is able to work per day and per week, as well as the necessary amount of days off.
• We recommend waiting until your au pair has been with your family for long enough to acclimate to a routine before taking a vacation. Vacations are sure to be a time of loosened rules and extra indulgences, so starting off your year with this attitude may set the wrong tone.
• When you invite your au pair along on vacation, the same program rules that apply at home still apply – you must provide room and board. Don’t forget that your au pair needs their own room!
• Consider the cultural aspect of your vacation, even if it is more about relaxation and fun than learning. If you’re from New Jersey and visiting California, think about the regional differences and how you can expose your au pair to those to promote even more cultural exchange.
• Your au pair should not be expected to pay for any aspect of the vacation.

Vacationing With Your Off-Duty Au Pair

You can also make it a vacation for everyone! If this is the case, consider this.

• If this is truly your au pair’s vacation, they can’t do any work and should feel free to relax. If you are, say, taking toddlers to Disney World, then this may not be possible. Would it bother you if your au pair laid out in the sun with earbuds in, split from the group to ride a roller coaster, or slept until noon? If so, you might want to consider asking your au pair to be “on duty” for this vacation.
• Be sure your au pair understands that these days are part of their allotted vacation time and will decrease the time they have for any independent travel they may be planning.
• When you invite your au pair along on vacation, the rules at home still apply – you’re expected to provide room and board. Don’t forget that your au pair needs their own room, needs to receive three meals per day, and receive their stipend. You are still hosting your au pair – just not in your normal home!

Vacationing Without Your Au Pair

While it’s nice to travel with your au pair, you may decide to travel by yourselves. If this is the case, here are a few things to keep in mind.

• You can’t impose a vacation on your au pair. You can discuss planned vacation dates in advance, and if your au pair agrees, then your au pair can count those dates as vacation. We want to make sure that au pairs are able to use their vacation time to explore the U.S., so your au pair will need ample time to plan the trip in advance and possibly coordinate with friends.
• While we encourage au pairs to travel, au pairs always need to have the option to stay in the home. If you are going away and your au pair will be staying at home, make sure that there is enough food (or enough money) for three meals per day.
• If your au pair is going to go away on a vacation, talk to them about it! They are probably not familiar with traveling in the U.S., and would appreciate any advice you have.

Additional Things to Consider

If you’re planning to travel internationally with your au pair, you’ll need to research the visa requirements for the country you’re visiting, as your au pair may require a visa even if you don’t. Also, your au pair’s J-1 Visa (which is valid for one year from date of issuance) must not be expired in order to ensure re-entry into the United States. Lastly, while most vacations are usually a week or two, if you’re planning an extended trip, remember your au pair may not spend more than 30 days outside the United States as per program guidelines. 

There’s no right or wrong way to vacation when you have an au pair. The important thing to consider in any of the above options is to communicate your expectations in advance. Most au pairs are happy to travel with their host families, even if it means they’ll be working for part of the trip. The clearer the rules, the better. And if you decide not to take your au pair along on the trip, communicating what they can expect while you’re gone is important too. Bon Voyage!