{"id":10822,"date":"2025-04-14T00:28:00","date_gmt":"2025-04-14T00:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/?p=10822"},"modified":"2025-04-14T16:06:20","modified_gmt":"2025-04-14T16:06:20","slug":"creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/","title":{"rendered":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Creating a Healthy Relationship with Your Live-in Au Pair<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hosting an au pair is a unique childcare experience. You, as the family, are not only managing your childcare provider, you\u2019re also hosting an international exchange participant. It\u2019s important to set clear boundaries and expectations for a successful cultural exchange and work experience with your au pair. And balancing a professional relationship with familial integration can feel different than anything you\u2019ve experienced before, but trust us when we say, \u201cIt works!\u201d. For over 35 years, Au Pair USA<\/a> has been successfully matching and supporting au pair and host family partnerships and seen firsthand how incredible the experience can be for both parties.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understanding Cultural Expectations<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Whether you\u2019re hosting a parent, sibling, or friend, having an additional person in your home and space can feel different. When you host an au pair, this individual isn\u2019t someone you\u2019ve ever lived with before or even spent any time with in person prior to their arrival; therefore, there will be some getting used to each other. Additionally, as your au pair is from another country, cultural differences may stand out. For example, your au pair may be used to eating dinner at a later time or have different morning rituals they\u2019re used to. It\u2019s important to enter into the partnership with an understanding that it may take a few attempts to figure out a seamless flow of living together<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Work vs. Personal Time<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Having a set schedule and list of responsibilities<\/a> \/ daily routines for the children are great ways to set expectations as to what your au pair is responsible for in your home. You can post this information somewhere in the home or share it electronically. Just like you have expectations of your au pair during work hours, you\u2019ll want to ensure you\u2019re respecting their personal time and space during non-work hours (for example, letting your kids know that they can\u2019t enter your au pair\u2019s room without knocking or during specific hours of the day). Additionally, you may want to include your au pair in family activities during non-work hours. Giving your au pair the option to attend family dinner, your son\u2019s soccer game, or your daughter\u2019s birthday party rather than expecting<\/em> them to be there is best so you know you\u2019re respecting your au pair\u2019s free time while being open to having them present for cultural exchange opportunities. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Household Rules<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Living harmoniously with your au pair means you\u2019ll want to set some household rules. If your family is filled with early risers and you prefer to go to bed early, perhaps some rules around noise after 9pm may be important. If your family doesn\u2019t wear shoes inside the home, let your au pair know in advance that they must remove their shoes when they come inside. Not every culture is accustomed to going to sleep early or taking their shoes off indoors. While setting rules for your home is important, it is equally as important to remember that your au pair most likely comes from a different cultural background with different rules. Ask your au pair about their culture and house rules to gain a better understanding of where your au pair is coming from. Understanding these details will allow you to have more empathy toward your au pair in case of any mishaps. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Effective Communication Strategies<\/h2>\n\n\n\n


Perhaps the most important part of a successful au pair and host family relationship: communication<\/a>. Communicating often and effectively is extremely important when living with your au pair. Even though it may feel unnecessary since you see each other daily, we recommend regular check-ins and feedback sessions (weekly is ideal) to provide time and space for everyone to share what\u2019s on their mind. Addressing concerns early and openly is key in resolving any issues before they become larger and harder to take care of. Remember, there will likely be cultural differences in yours and your au pair\u2019s communication styles. For example, in some cultures, it\u2019s considered disrespectful to make eye contact when communicating. You may consider it rude that your au pair isn\u2019t looking at you when speaking about their concerns, but this may actually be a more polite form of communication where they come from. Don\u2019t forget to take the cultural component into account when communicating with your au pair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

All in all, living with your au pair can be an incredible experience! There\u2019s flexibility and reliability like no other when it comes to childcare support, and the immense benefits<\/a> of cultural exchange from hosting an international au pair are greater than we can fit in this one blog post! Resources like the Host Family Handbook and your Local Coordinator<\/a> are excellent ways to set your family up for success when it comes to creating an environment and situation that promotes success for both you and your au pair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re ready to get started in hosting an au pair, apply today<\/a> for free! Au Pair USA<\/a> is eager to meet and support you in the process of finding the right au pair for your family!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Creating a Healthy Relationship with Your Live-in Au Pair<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":10762,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,22],"tags":[53,44],"class_list":["post-10822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","category-cultural-exchange-stories","tag-host-family","tag-host-family-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nSetting Boundaries Without Building Walls<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Au Pair Life Host Family Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-04-14T00:28:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-04-14T16:06:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1229\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"815\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Marisa Lonic\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Marisa Lonic\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Marisa Lonic\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#\/schema\/person\/6ff4cca459c85bdfc85ce5465e484241\"},\"headline\":\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-14T00:28:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-04-14T16:06:20+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\"},\"wordCount\":874,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"host family\",\"host family advice\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Advice for Families\",\"Cultural Exchange\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\",\"name\":\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-14T00:28:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-04-14T16:06:20+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#\/schema\/person\/6ff4cca459c85bdfc85ce5465e484241\"},\"description\":\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg\",\"width\":1229,\"height\":815},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/\",\"name\":\"Au Pair Life Host Family Blog\",\"description\":\"Our au pair host family blog provides various beneficial topics about hosting an au pair. Visit Au Pair USA's au pair blog here!\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#\/schema\/person\/6ff4cca459c85bdfc85ce5465e484241\",\"name\":\"Marisa Lonic\",\"description\":\"Marisa is a lover of all things cultural exchange. She and her family have hosted au pairs from Brazil, Germany, Colombia, Spain, and Ecuador. As a mom of four and the founder of Mama Work It, she helps working moms juggle mom life, work life, spouse life, fill in the blank life through her books, courses and coaching programs.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/author\/mlonic\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","description":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","og_description":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","og_url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/","og_site_name":"Au Pair Life Host Family Blog","article_published_time":"2025-04-14T00:28:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-04-14T16:06:20+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1229,"height":815,"url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Marisa Lonic","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Marisa Lonic","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/"},"author":{"name":"Marisa Lonic","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#\/schema\/person\/6ff4cca459c85bdfc85ce5465e484241"},"headline":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","datePublished":"2025-04-14T00:28:00+00:00","dateModified":"2025-04-14T16:06:20+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/"},"wordCount":874,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg","keywords":["host family","host family advice"],"articleSection":["Advice for Families","Cultural Exchange"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/","url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/","name":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg","datePublished":"2025-04-14T00:28:00+00:00","dateModified":"2025-04-14T16:06:20+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#\/schema\/person\/6ff4cca459c85bdfc85ce5465e484241"},"description":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg","width":1229,"height":815},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/advice\/creating-a-healthy-relationship-with-live-in-au-pair\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#website","url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/","name":"Au Pair Life Host Family Blog","description":"Our au pair host family blog provides various beneficial topics about hosting an au pair. Visit Au Pair USA's au pair blog here!","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/#\/schema\/person\/6ff4cca459c85bdfc85ce5465e484241","name":"Marisa Lonic","description":"Marisa is a lover of all things cultural exchange. She and her family have hosted au pairs from Brazil, Germany, Colombia, Spain, and Ecuador. As a mom of four and the founder of Mama Work It, she helps working moms juggle mom life, work life, spouse life, fill in the blank life through her books, courses and coaching programs.","url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/author\/mlonic\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/12\/SF-HF-Day-.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10822"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10822\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10831,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10822\/revisions\/10831"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10762"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.aupairusa.org\/host-families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}